Patrick Dorn’s reviews and theatre promos have migrated to a new site
Featured Item / June 6, 2017

Greetings! Effectively immediately, I have migrated my theatre reviews, theatre promos, fiction, non-fiction, graphic novel, and movie reviews to my NEW BLOG: “Patrick Dorn, Reviewer.” Here’s the new address: This website is now my author/playwright website. Here you will find news about my published plays and fiction, works in progress, and other posts relevant to indie authors. Thanks! And I hope you’ll decide to follow BOTH my sites!

Sir Nose the Burger Rat

Sir Nose, the Burger Rat — This rhyming rodent has a nose for adventure! An alley rat with the smarts of Sherlock and Cyrano’s schnoz finds the game’s afoot at the Kingdom of Mall’s Food Court. Sir Nose helps the bashful Taco Bill woo the lovely Wendy Freiberger by feeding him romantic rhymes from a nearby trashcan. But when the ace detective/poet’s “arch” enemy Professor McRonald, and his henchmen Corporal Saunders, Herr Wienerschnitzel, Dragon Panda, and Short John Silver kidnap the Burger Queen, the fat hits the fire! Sir Nose and his clumsy sidekick Pizza Mutt race to “take out” the criminals before the Dairy King is forced to fork over the recipe to his secret sauce as ransom. Though low in nutritional value, the super-sized portions of slapstick humor, non-stop action and tongue-in-cheek puns make this play a recipe for hilarity. The simple set and flexible casting provide the ingredients for a deliciously fun, economical, and over-easy comedy that can be produced on short order. CLICK HERE to purchase your reading copy today. Published by Pioneer Drama Service.

A California Surfer in Cleopatra’s Court

A California Surfer in Cleopatra’s Court — Cowabunga Dudes! Surf’s up…in Ancient Egypt! Totally awesome teen surfer Brody Morgan is mysteriously transported from a California beach in the 1960s to 41 BC Ancient Egypt and Cleopatra’s court. After proving himself worthy by surfing a tsunami up the Nile River, Brody introduces hilarious 20th-century inventions like flip flops, Egyptian cotton sheets, and mummy-style sleeping bags to Cleopatra and her Roman boyfriend, Mark Antony. When Cleopatra’s wicked adviser Pothinus and ambitious sister Arsinoe attempt a venomous coup, Brody saves Cleo and the Romans, then returns home in time to compete in a totally gnarly surfing competition and be crowned Boss Kahuna. Inspired by Mark Twain’s classic time-travel tale, this action-packed, hilarious 90-minute comedy boasts a flexible cast, silly but simple costumes and props, uproarious gags and jokes, and loads of slapstick humor. The play is a mash-up of the goofy “beach party” movies of the Sixties and a comical take on the Antony and Cleopatra story from ancient history. King Tut is rolling over in his sarcophagus—with laughter—and all because there’s… “A California Surfer in Cleopatra’s Court”! CLICK HERE to purchase your reading copy today. Published by  Brooklyn Publishers

Poultry in Motion

Poultry in Motion — Barnyard birds hatch high-hilarity in low-cholesterol, crackpot comedy! POULTRY IN MOTION is an easy-to-stage, ready to tour, sunny-side-up laugh-fest that is loaded with silly situations, honkingly funny characters, slapstick humor, sight gags, and outrageous puns. The fractured fable scrambles the stories of Chicken Little, who believes the sky is falling, and the Little Red Hen, who tries to get her feather-brained friends to stop loafing around and bake some bread. Meanwhile, Foxy Loxy is lurking nearby Young MacDonald’s Free-Range Poultry Farm, hoping to snatch some hot wings, while a smorgasbord of chickens, ducks, geese and turkeys stick their necks out laying plans to see the queen. POULTRY IN MOTION is an “egg-ceptional” 35-minute, over-easy comedy that promises to feed performers and audiences of all ages flocks of fun to gobble up. CLICK HERE to purchase your reading copy of POULTRY IN MOTION today! Published by Pioneer Drama Service.

Blather, Blarney, and Balderdash (plus musical version)

Blather, Blarney and Balderdash AND Once Upon a Leprechaun —  Three hilarious and action-packed Irish folk and fairy tales collide in raucous laughter when a trio of wild and crazy leprechauns try to help tongue-tied shepherd Fin O’Grady learn to tell a story and win the hand of his one true love. Included are fast and funny storyteller theatre adaptations of “The Hunchback of Knockgrafton,” “The Griffin’s Feather,” and “The Bird, the Mouse and the Cricket.” This uplifting, easy-to-produce ensemble comedy with a flexible cast combines clever dialogue with slapstick humor and features numerous ’showcase’ roles so that everyone, even the least experienced, has a chance to shine. The full-length musical version features lovely Celtic melodies and dance numbers along with clever lyrics by Bill Francoeur. Audiences will thank their “lucky charms” that they are treated to these delightful  and comical tales from the Emerald Isle. CLICK HERE to purchase your reading copy of Blather, Blarney, and Balderdash (non-musical version) or HERE to purchase a reading copy of Once Upon a Leprechaun (musical version) today. Published by Pioneer Drama Service.

Faery Free-For-All

Faery Free for All — Scotland’s mythical, magical beings bewitch audiences, with frantic antics and fantastic folktales. Friendly and fearsome fairy folk from the Highlands and Lowlands of Scotland gather in a moonlit meadow for a raucous, rambunctious re-enactment of classic stories of the Summer (Seelie) and Winter (Unseelie) Courts. Pixies, brownies, and sprites tussle with a banshee, wraith, boggles and trows, while two teenage human captives plan their escape. Costumes for this hour-long, twenty-two role ensemble comedy may be simple or elaborate, with minimal set and prop requirements. All resources are devoted to fast action, silly characters, and constant comedy, punctuated by references to Scottish food, folklore, geography, and culture. Suitable for both student and inter-generational casts. No accents or kilts are required when you enter the frivolous fray of FAERY FREE FOR ALL! CLICK HERE to purchase your reading copy of FAERY FREE FOR ALL today. Published by Pioneer Drama Service.

The Blabbermouth, the Puff Monster, and the Wolf

— What is Ukraine’s brightest, funniest export? (Hint: It’s NOT Chernobyl’s radioactive cloud.) It’s the stories! The Blabbermouth, the Puff Monster and the Wolf is a fast-paced collection of hilarious Ukrainian folk tales, brought to life on a bare stage by a troupe of 6-24 traveling players. In “The Blabbermouth,” a clever woodsman devises an ingenious ruse to keep a buried treasure secret, despite his gossipy wife.  The next story is about a goofy, cellar-dwelling “Puff Monster,” who bites off more than it can chew.  The trio is complete with the classic “Sirko and the Wolf,” in which canine cousins outwit a cranky, noodle-wielding Babushka and make their wildest dreams come true. This 60-minute, action-packed comedy is extremely tour-friendly and can be staged almost anywhere, with minimal props and an expandable cast. Ideal for elementary, middle and high school students with varying degrees of experience and training, this show also encourages students and audiences alike to learn more about Ukrainian culture. CLICK HERE to purchase your reading copy today. Published by Pioneer Drama Service

Doc, Doc, Goose!
Featured Item , Plays and Musicals / April 7, 2017

Doc…Doc…Goose! When Mother Goose gets her MD, funny bones everywhere crack up! Freak accidents abound in Nurseryland. Mother Goose opens an “urgent care” clinic,  and a host of unlucky nursery rhyme characters line up to prove that laughter really is the best medicine. Among the patients is a cow with a sore calf from moon-jumping, a crooked man needing a chiropractic adjustment, a daredevil who burns his seat jumping over candles, and a blonde juvenile delinquent who breaks into bears’ houses. Doctor Goose and Nurse Gosling also run a nutritional support group and fitness class for a man who eats no fat and his opposite wife, a tea-guzzling girl named Polly, and a Queen who craves tarts.  But will Dr. Zhivago from Fairy Tale Land close down the clinic?  There are three blind, tail-less mice who sure hope not!  There are fun, flexible roles for six to fifteen elementary or middle school-age actors, with doubling possible. A simple interior doctor’s office set and bargain basement costumes make this an easy show to stage anywhere, from classroom to auditorium, on a bare bones budget. It can even make “house calls” to other schools or venues. Young actors will love comparing the…

The Three Little Sausages
Children's Book , Featured Item / March 7, 2017

The Three Little Sausages A funny, colorful picture book for selective eaters and their parents By Patrick Dorn Illustrations by Jaime Buckley See a Picky Eater “Wolf” Down his Breakfast! Nate is a picky eater. When his dad takes him to a breakfast buffet, reluctant Nate uses his imagination to “play” with his food, acting out a funny, action-packed version of the Three Little Pigs with sausage links and baked goods.The Three Little Sausages is a whimsical, colorful picture book that encourages children who are “selective” or picky eaters to develop creative eating strategies and expand their menus. Parents who are looking for resources to help their kids overcome selective eating issues will love the playful, stress-free approach The Three Little Sausages brings to the plate. Jaime Buckley’s illustrations are colorful, bright, and filled with laugh-out-loud goofiness. Patrick Dorn’s story reinforces the warm bonds of love and trust between parent and child, and the transforming power of imagination. You and your child will delight in Big Bad Nate’s hilarious victory over breakfast. But the e-book version at, and start enjoying meals with your picky eater again! Paperback version available for $9.99.

The Pebble
Children's Book , Featured Item / March 1, 2017

The Pebble By Patrick Dorn –This colorful, whimsical, rhyming religious picture book tells the story of David and Goliath from the stone’s point of view. The Pebble is lowly and meek, mocked by nearby stones and boulders because it dreams of flying. As part of God’s creation, the Pebble trusts that it has value, meaning, and purpose. Suddenly, a hand reaches down, picks up the Pebble, and propels it into history. Parents and children will love the rhyming narrative and the attractive, simple images. The book includes recommended Bible references and questions encouraging conversation about the value and purpose of each of us, as the beloved of God. Paperback: $9.99 (24 pages) available on CreateSpace Kindle e-book: $2.99 available on Amazon